Funerals Are Boring

Hey there, blog! I haven’t given you any love lately so here we go. Heck, I won’t even share this publicly so very few people will probably ever read this. Anyway..

But aren’t they? Funerals are so dull. I don’t know about the typical funeral you’ve been to, but all the ones I’ve seen share a few common things. Slow, boring church music like Amazing Grace or whatever your family picks to be played. Then someone, usually a preacher, gets up and gives a boring speech about the life of the person where they tell a happy, funny story that makes you laugh but it’s still a very somber mood. It’s miserable! I get it and I appreciate it, but no thank you.

Me? When I die, I want to be remembered well. I don’t want to say anything cheesy like “I want it to be a celebration!” Nah, you better cry because I sure hope you’re gonna miss me! But I don’t want the mood to be intentionally somber. I don’t want people to be walking on egg shells at the visitation because it’s a sensitive atmosphere. Forget that! Tell all your favorite stories. Laugh. Enjoy yourselves. Watch all my old YouTube videos that have long-since been forgotten. Don’t forget to look up videos of me that weren’t on my own channel. Some of my best stuff is over on Dave’s YouTube channel or on NFI. I’m sure there will be more videos of me in the future. The point is, I know it’s gonna be sad. That’s how it’s supposed to be. But don’t make it INTENTIONALLY sad. Don’t get onto kids for running around in the room with my casket. Don’t feel the need to hush and whisper. Don’t dress up either, for goodness sake! Please don’t dress up. When you come to my visitation or funeral, come dressed the way you would when I would normally see you. Chill. Relax. Have some refreshments. Idk, set up an xbox or something for the kids to play COD once they get bored after the first five minutes and don’t tell them to turn it down.

Don’t you dare play some sad slide show with sad, sappy music playing! Ugh. Just… please, avoid being boring and somber. Sure, shed your tears, but do it between genuine, loud, obnoxious laughter. That not only makes the whole process more enjoyable for everyone, but it makes me feel more comfortable with my own death. Quit moping around and just enjoy my memory! That’s all I ask.


One thought on “Funerals Are Boring

  1. But wouldn’t shedding tears mean we were sad you were gone? I mean personally you invaded my home country, kidnapped me on my birthday and held me for ransom on a ship just off the coast of some random town, tried to kill me through exhaustion using a mountain etc. I will be smiling at your send off as you wanted… just not for the reason you wanted! hahaha. ❤

    Nah seriously, I have been to a few kinds of funerals. Ones you are more used to which were faith based and then some more generic send off ones. We hardly ever do open casket here in the UK, but I can agree they are both boring and insincere. To have a person (be in preacher, or who knows) stand in front of you other loved ones and tell US how they lived and what they were like. DUDE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY WERE LIKE. I dislike that immensely when they try and sympathize.

    Perhaps I am becoming old and bitter but it has always wound me up. Whether it was my Father's funeral, or the next door neighbor whom I had grown up around, or a great Auntie I always get mad at funerals for the above reason. But yes, they are incredibly boring also.

    PS What's a YouTube channel? And what do you mean they WON'T be your last?! You said it was over xD. Boooooo!

    Liked by 1 person

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